I have written a series called “Playing with Language” in which I look at the origin and energy of specific words. Words carry and convey these hidden meanings and energies, so it’s a good idea to know what you’re actually saying. (You can find more words on my blog.)
The most recent word is “shame.”
- The agonising sensation caused by the realisation that you or someone else has done something dishonorable, inappropriate, ridiculous, etc.:
- disgrace; shame: His actions brought shame to his parents.
There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is when you have done something wrong or bad, but you can apologize and do something to right the wrong. With shame, there is something inherently wrong with YOU and there is nothing you can do to “make it better”. That is why it is so painful to feel shame.
The definition that I find so interesting and relevant is “disgrace”. The prefix dis-comes from Latin and means “not” or “removed from.” So to be disgraced means to be removed from grace, also called a state of grace, which is the condition of being in God’s favour or one of the elect.
When you are ashamed (disgraced), it feels like God/Creator has rejected you. You must be pretty bad if even God doesn’t love you! This is the worst pain of all. It is the separation from the creator, or home. This is that feeling that the universe is not kind and certainly “not on your side”.
I have found that many, if not most, people are not even aware of it when they are ashamed. This is because shame is a game of hide-and-seek. It disguises itself as other emotions or thoughts.
How do you know when you’re ashamed?
You want to hide from the world.
You may feel a little nauseous.
You lose the ability to speak well (if at all).
You are angry at someone or something because it “makes you feel bad.”
You feel like you’re not as good as anyone else.
You are afraid that someone will find out that you are an “impostor”.
You are afraid of being rejected.
Think of those dreams where you leave a public restroom and realise you have no pants on. That’s too bad.
Here’s an example: A woman in my Master Journey Course told me this story. During the teleseminar (while we were recognising and uncreating shame to be more open to awareness and knowledge from the spiritual realms), her phone kept dropping out. This happened several times, and each time she got angrier and angrier.
Being a wise master, she asked what the “decode” or message of this was. Immediately, she realised she was worried about not belonging to the group, and she was ashamed of it. Think how bad it would be to be part of a great group of masters and to be disconnected (rejected) by them.
What she felt at first was anger that was actually shame in disguise. Once she was aware of the shame and could therefore really feel it, it was erased. And the phone stopped disconnecting.
Aside: what a fantastic creator she is to release the phone multiple times!
Another popular disguise for shame is fear. Think public speaking. They say it is the greatest fear most people have, even death. What’s the worst that could happen? Did you go there and have nothing to say? People will laugh at you or be so bored that they get up and leave.
Public humiliation (shame) is a very intense experience. If people consider public speaking their greatest fear, even death, does that mean that they would rather die than face the risk of shame? fear
of shame. Wow, that’s a big one!
This is why we hesitate, or completely avoid, sharing our true gifts with the world. What if you do open up, become so vulnerable and offer your special gift and the world rejects you? How do you recover from that kind of pain?
I remember my pre-school graduation. I was 4 years old. Our children were all sitting in the stands, and our parents looked at us proudly. We had been practicing for weeks to sing our song. The teacher sang, to the tune of Frère Jacques (Brother John), ”
Where’s Johnny?” Where’s Johnny?
Where are you? Where are you?
Tell us where you are. Tell us where you are.
After that, the child had to get up, stretch his arms in the air and sing aloud: ”
Here I am! Here I am!”
Most of the children were very shy and sang very softly. I remember thinking, “That’s not what the teacher told us to do.” I’m going to do it right and please my mama! ”
So when it was my turn, I got up, spread my arms and sang “Here I am! Here I am!” loud and brutal.
People giggled. My mother shook her head, clearly not happy, and she said to the woman next to her, “She should always be the centre of attention.”
I remember the shocking pain and humiliation I felt. I wanted to disappear. That one phrase (which I’ve heard on many other occasions since) and the sheer amount of shame I felt kept me from living my dreams and sharing my gift with the world. It’s been a long journey for me to be able to stand in front of a group of people and teach a class, not to mention channel for them.
The good news is that not only can I now, but I’m really enjoying it… a lot! Mom was right; I like to be the centre of attention! And it’s a good thing.
How did I get to the point where I enjoy being in front of people? By feeling the shame and clearing it up! And you can too.
Here are some other words we use instead of saying “shame.” It’s such a good hider that we don’t even use his real name.
Low self-esteemmortification (except
shame, killing means, subjecting (the body, passions, etc.) by abstinence, ascetic discipline, or self-imposed suffering. Ewww! It’s based on “dying,” of course.
After doing a session on clearing shame, Liz wrote me this.
I hadn’t realised how much shame affected me. Once I started seeing it for what it really was, I could scoop it out and send it down the (non-created) wormhole. It comes up just like you said too, disguised as so many other things, but I can now see that the underlying energy is shame. I was literally stunned yesterday when I realised that all the thoughts constantly fluttering around in my head are the result of a feeding between shame and mass consciousness. I feel I am so much stronger now because I have unearthed and destroyed much of the regular “beat up Liz” programme that I was not even aware of!!
And after that…
“I really experienced what it was like to feel EVERYTHING I am-everything. I felt how immense and timeless I am. How loving, connected, and expansive. I felt the power of just “being.” I became my whole being. He was wise, silent, and aware of everything and nothing at the same time.
I don’t think I’ll ever feel powerless again or even for a moment, forget that sense of who I really am.
Do you want “what she’s got”? (Cue Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.)
Do you long to feel and really be “all that you are”?
What is your special gift to bring to this world?
Does shame (or fear of shame) keep you from offering your gift to the world and living your dream?
If you let yourself feel the shame, really dig into it, you are actually healing the shame. Eventually, all the shame that was suppressed and stored in your system will be gone. At this point, you are free! There is no way anyone can control you through shame. There is nothing stopping you from living your dream and offering your special gift to the world.
While it is simple, it is not necessarily easy. Since shame is a hidden emotion, it must be seen to be fully experienced and thus cleared up. This means you need someone you trust to witness your shame. While your personality probably won’t like the experience, your soul will be overjoyed. You will feel lighter and more hopeful, ready to shine your unique light!
Sarah Biermann is the founder of the ImagiCreation technique. Sarah is a clairvoyant and highly empathic intuitive counselor, healer, and teacher.